What a weekend! We buried Randy. It was exactly what he wanted a quaint graveside service and a celebration of life. We had a very nice celebration. There was lots of family there. I guess I didn't realize that Joyce had other family....hmm....Makes you think that I didn't have that. It is kind of weird how life works. I didn't even meet my Dad's family until I was an adult. My brother got invited to their house for a Christmas party...so I called and asked if I could come. Well they only sort of even knew that I existed and then I got a re-gift...WTF is that. I certainly didn't want a present let alone a re-gift because you feel that you need to give someone a present. It was the weirdest thing ever. Wow...that is off the subject. Anyway all of my Sister's family was there......except my other sister and her two brothers...notice how I let her claim them...my mom my aunt and all of her kids. Since my Grams and Grander passed all of my family has basically separated. I miss those days. I really miss my Grander. He was more of a father to me than anyone. He was my babysitter and my friend. I totally miss him.

On the upside it was a nice celebration and we are getting closer to Christmas. I didn't get any decorations on the outside of the house...bur our tree is up. I still have to do some more shopping but we will get there. This is the first year that I am this far behind. I am sure it will be good. We are going to have a little family gathering and just enjoy each other. I will let you know how it goes.

Today was a good day. We got together with some friends that we haven't hung out with in a while. I cooked chili and cornbread. You know the stuff that sticks to your ribs after you eat it. There were kids and friends and even baby Ryan. This is the time of year that you gather to be with friends and family. The Christmas tree is up and the fire is lit. A sure sign that Santa needs to get thier sh*t together for next week.

Tomorrow is Friday and I am so glad that this week is over. I need to get refreshed for the next week to come. Randy's services will be on Saturday with the wake at my Sisters after. The family is so sensitive about the things that time and circumstances have changed. I am sure there will be some delicate issues that we will encounter. I just hope that everyone takes the high road and realizes that time has gone by and things and people have changed. I have for sure. As my family has changed so have I. We have all chosen different paths and weather you like it or not...some of our paths are very far apart. I remember when my Mom was living with me and the Dr's said she would be passing ...(she hasn't yet) ... she said after I am gone you probably won't talk to some of your brothers and sister..and guess what I wouldn't then, and probably won't now. My life has taken me to a place that I need to be. I have enough drama of my own without them. I certainly don't want my kids involved in the things that they surround themselves with. Life is hard enough all on it's own. I hope that as difficult and strange that I am that my kids have it a little...a lot better than I did when I grew up. Some of the things being very simple..like having the lights on, water, gas and just having transportation. I think you have to go without before you can really appreciate having these things. But, I would rather that my kids never have to know that hardship. Sooo I guess that is enough for tonight. I am going to sit here by the fire, watch HGTV and drink a beer before I go to bed. Hopefully tomorrow is full of sunshine.

So, have I ever told you that I am the 7th child of 8? My mother had 8 children. The first four children are from her first husband. Joyce, Christina, Randall and Jack. Thier Dad is..was Randy. He passed away today. How do you explain to people that your sisters father is gone an you need to leave work?

Let's start with the fact that my father passed away a long time ago and he was never as much a part of the family as Randy. Randy had his moments and people had thier opinions...but he was always there. A steady pillar in our unsteady world. I guess we all look up to who we can. Even though he wasn't my father....he was. As my sister grew up so did he. He realized that he really did love his children and would do what he could to be a part of thier lives. Too bad my other siblings didn't see this. I appreciated his presence at so may family gatherings. There were times that had I been in his shoes, I am not sure that I would have made it....But, he swallowed his pride..and always attended family events. Of course he wasn't always a saint..there were moments that my family would have rather that his mother ate her young...and Grams didn't hesitate to say so. But overall in what we call life, I am proud to have known Randy and to have been his friend. I know that if I would have needed something and I would have called upon him, he would have helped me. Isn't that what we want eveyone to say about us after we pass on?

Sunday Night

What a day! We had a wonderful time at the Legion with our Kids Christmas party. Of course there are other things in life that go on. My Sister's Dad is at the end of his life....she and her family are gathering with him to say goodbye. Although not my Father, Randy was there for me at several different intervals in my life. I appreciate his friendship and guidance. My Father passed some years ago and no matter the circumstance.....it is never something that is easy to deal with. I hope that Joyce and her family get through this and remember the good times.

On another note...I am sitting here watching LMN. I have been loving these shows for years. They are always there for me to make me cry and share the stories of others that help you get through the day.

I will be writing again soon and hope that this helps me get through the days.